One Thing Or Another

Well when we first moved in we found out our oven didnt work. The ranch part works fine just no oven. So, I have been cooking for almost 2 months with no oven. I never realized how much I would miss cooking in the oven. Now, I wake up this morning go to do some laundry and guess what. The dryer took a shit. I can go without a oven but not a dryer. I am not going to the damn laundra mat. I wont have to go too long without a dryer my parents just happen to have a nice one I can have. Thanx guys!

Sleep doesnt come easy around here. I have a hard time getting sleep at night. I get about 4 hrs a night then a nap in the morning. When J.W gets home from work he does his whatnot and tends to the baby boy so I get a little nappy in. Connor has been fussy lately which is hard to keep him quiet. Drew and Shaina who are old enough to know better havent managed to be quiet so that J.W can get undisturbed sleep. I try to keep everyone quiet so he can sleep but I fail miserablly. I could put duct tape on their mouths and tie them to a chair. Then maybe they would be quiet.

Things with J.W and me are great. And, soon to be better. I just found out that I only have about a month to go before my divorce is final. Also things are moving along with changing a certain little boys name. Once all that is done we can move on with our lives (further than we have). WOOP! J.W says he isnt afraid of a Gabby we will have to see about that. Kissy Kiss Sweetie!

I love you John!

What to do?

It's been awhile since my last enrty, been a little busy. My son has had me down in the dumps for about a week. Not listening, acting a fool, not wanting to go to school, the worst part is he really wants to go to live with his Gram and it is killing me to know that he would rather leave me then deal with a new school. He has friends at his new school, but it's not enough he wants to be back in town around all the trouble. All the grief he gives me upsets his sister very much. She is a very good kid and he has been depressing her alot. She goes to her room and cries but that don't affect him one bit he just says shes a bawl-baby. So, I have 2 options, tell him tough shit get over it you are staying here where you belong or send of to his dad. If he goes with his dad he will become 10 times worse then what he is now. If he stays here I take the risk of him making his sisters life Hell. What to do? Beating him "unmerciful" might be the answer.

Happier times! Everything with J.W and me are great. Other than we both need to get lots more sleep. I am hoping things can work out with the new job he was offered. There is a bit of difference in the pay and not for the better. But, he would be home at nights, in our bed where he belongs! I didn't think him working 3rd shift would bother me so much but I was wrong. I miss him terribly when im laying in bed all by myself. If he cant take this job maybe something else will come around soon. I want to look into a eBay business to make some extra money. Then taking this job wouldn't be so bad. Well that's all for now. Its bedtime.

I love you John!

SIGH

I just dont understand why its so hard for some people to talk when they are having problems. I dont really think its the quietness that bothers me so much as the moods that come along with it. They are really hard for me to deal with. The worst is when you know something is wrong and you cant get them to open up. So you set for hours wondering if you are the reason for the mood. All the time feeling crappier by the minute. Sometimes I feel that my love isnt strong enough to help him through whatevers bothering him. I know that lots of times I get very upset when I am told whats wrong, but thats me I am very emotional.

I would much rather know up front whats wrong, then to set alone wondering. I set worrying while he is sleeping and I know how tired he is so I dont bother him, but in the meantime I am going crazy. I have set for 3 hours tonight depressed and worried. I hate feeling this way. All I want is for us to be happy! To beable to confide in each other. I have my bad days just like everyone else does but I dont take it out on him. I go to him for comfort. We have been through so much to be together I hope we can be happy. After all we do have a beautiful baby boy to raise together. I want him to grow up seeing that we are happy and that we love each other very much. Well.....we talked but I dont feel like adding anything right now. Maybe I will feel up to it later.

I love you John!

Happy New Year

Happy New Year! New Years Eve started like this. My sweetie and me got up at 7:30 a.m and started getting the house ready for company. We finally got done around 5:00 p.m.,then hopped in the shower. First the Klines and their 3 kids showed up then G and K showed up. We started the night off with a game of Asshole. Thats a great drinking game! Everyone seemed to be enjoying them selves. J.W and me tried a drink called a Mudslide, it tastes like chocolate milk. It is really good with ice. G and K couldnt stay real long, they had plans before we called them. I am glad they stopped over. By the time they left J.W was already a little tipsy(hehe). I was glad to see him having such a good time.

Most of the night was card playing, drinking and sitting in the smoking area. We all continued to play Asshole till it was time for the ball to drop. There was only one injury and that was little Abby, she banged her mouth and knocked a tooth lose. She was okay shortly after it happened. The kids were all pretty well behaved even our beautiful baby boy, Connor. I had a wonderful time. When it was time for the ball to drop we all went to the living room with the kids. I poored everyone a drink to toast the New Year and the count down began. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2,1 and I got my first New Years kiss from J.W. I hope every New year is a good as this one. As long as J.W is in my life I have no doubt that every year will be wonderful.

I love you John!